Praise be to Allaah.
1 – It is not permissible to attend wedding parties that
involve evil actions, such as singing that is accompanied by music or that
includes indecent words. The fact that this is widespread among people does
not mean that it is permissible and should not be denounced.
2 – Not attending these parties is not regarded as severing
the ties of kinship, rather it is protecting oneself from seeing or hearing
evil. Your family and relatives should understand that you would be keen to
attend and take part, were it not for the evil things that they do.
3 – If a person who is invited to such an event knows that
there will be evil things happening and that he is not able to denounce
them, it is not permissible for him to attend.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in
al-Mughni (7/214): If a person is invited to a wedding feast in which
evil things will take place, such as wine, musical instruments, etc, and he
is able to attend and remove those evils, then he must attend and denounce
them, because then he will be fulfilling two duties: accepting the
invitation of his Muslim brother and removing evil. But if he is not able to
denounce them then he should not attend. If he does not know about the evils
until he gets there, he should remove them. If he cannot, then he should go
away. Something similar was stated by al-Shaafa’i.
It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah:
If wedding parties are free of evils such as men mixing with
women and indecent songs, or if you attend then these evils will be changed,
then it is permissible to attend, so as to share in the occasion of joy.
Rather it is obligatory to attend if there is some evil that you can
remove.
But if there are evil things in these parties that you cannot
denounce, then it is haraam to attend them because of the general meaning of
the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):
“And leave alone those who take their religion as play and
amusement, and whom the life of this world has deceived. But remind (them)
with it (the Qur’aan) lest a person be given up to destruction for that
which he has earned, when he will find for himself no protector or
intercessor besides Allaah” [al-An’aam 6:70]
“And of mankind is he who
purchases idle talks (i.e. music, singing) to mislead (men) from the path of
Allaah without knowledge, and takes it (the path of Allaah, or the Verses of
the Qur’aan) by way of mockery. For such there will be a humiliating torment
(in the Hell-fire)”
[Luqmaan 31:6]
And because of the many ahaadeeth which condemn singing and
musical instruments.
From Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad
al-Musnad, p. 92.
And Allaah knows best.