Praise be to Allaah.
The parents have great rights, but the husband has a
greater right. It is not permissible for either party to abuse the rights of the other. If
the wife thinks that her husband has wronged her parents, she should advise him and remind
him that the aayah (interpretation of the meaning),
and live with them
[al-Nisa 4:19] includes treating her family well
too, because that makes her happy, and it includes not harming them, because that upsets
her. By the same token, if one or both of her parents abuse her husbands rights, she
should advise them and remind them of the seriousness of backbiting, wrongdoing and
aggression. If they order her to do something and her husband orders her to do the
opposite, then her husband takes precedence, because his rights are greater in
shareeah. This does not mean that she should forget about their rights; this is the
guideline she should follow in cases where there is a conflict.
With regard to your second question, it is not haraam according to
shareeah for a man to have intercourse with his wife after the nikaah (conclusion of
the marriage contract) and before the wedding party. Whatever happened after the nikaah is
halaal (permissible), so there is no scandal involved and no need to fear the
consequences. If a man divorces his wife after the marriage has been consummated, then she
is entitled to keep the entire mahr (dowry)
If it is possible for mediators to try to bring you back together in
accordance with shareeah and following the proper etiquette, then this is better.
And Allaah is the source of strength.