Praise be to Allaah.
The presence of the wali (guardian) is one of
the conditions of marriage, and a woman’s marriage is not valid unless this condition is met. This is the correct view and is the view of the
majority of scholars. See question no. 2127.
The person who has the most right to be a
woman’s guardian is her father, but if it is proven that he is not qualified for this role then it moves to the next closest relative, such as her
grandfather for example.
For more information on this issue, with
evidence, please see question no. 7193 and
With regard to the conditions and qualities
that should be present in the husband, the most important of these is religious commitment. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry [your daughter or female
relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that there will be fitnah (tribulation) on earth and much corruption.” Narrated by
al-Tirmidhi (1005) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1084.
See also question no.
6942 and 5202.
One of the shar’i conditions of marriage is
the consent of the wife, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “A previously-married woman should not be
married without consulting her and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how does she
give her permission?” He said, “If she remains silent.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4741; Muslim, 2543.
No one has the right to force a girl to marry
anyone, but at the same time she does not have the right to get married without her guardian’s permission.
The presence of the guardian is an important
condition for a marriage to be valid, but a girl should not be forced into marrying someone who she does not want to marry, and she is not
regarded as disobeying her parents in this case. Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said: “The parents do not have the right to force their son to
marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient, like eating something that he does not want.”
Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 344
With regard to your father and the way he is,
we offer the following advice:
Make du’aa’ for him in his absence. There is no specific du’aa’, so pray to Allaah to reform him and open his
Seek the help of some of your father’s friends or relatives whom you trust to try to change him.
Give him some books or tapes in your language that will encourage him to have a good attitude and warn him against the opposite,
and give them as a gift using a good approach when you do so. Allaah may make this a cause of his reforming.
We ask Allaah to help you to do that which He
loves and which pleases Him.
And Allaah knows best.