Praise be to Allaah.
You father did well by not agreeing to (your sister’s)
marriage to that man who has bad manners. Allaah has put him in a position
of trust with regard to his daughters and anyone who is under his care, so
he has to make a good choice and find a husband who is suitable from the
point of view of sharee’ah.
Your sister has done a number of wrong things, such as making
a bad choice in choosing this man who has bad manners; running away from her
father’s house; and – worst of all – getting married without a wali
One of these bad deeds would be enough to understand the
extent of the wrongs that she has done towards her Lord, herself and her
family, so how about if they are combined?
With regard to the marriage, it is invalid, because the
wali’s consent is one of the essential pillars of a valid marriage. This is
what is indicated by the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah:
1 – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“do not prevent them from marrying their (former)
2 – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to
al-Mushrikoon (idolaters) till they believe (in Allaah Alone)”
3 – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who
has no wife and the woman who has no husband)”
From these verses we may understand that the consent of the
wali is an essential condition for marriage, because these verses are
addressed to the wali concerning the marriage of the women under his care.
If the matter was up to the woman, there would be no need to address the
wali, especially in the case of the first verse quoted, as we shall explain
Part of the fiqh of Imam al-Bukhaari is that he quoted these
verses in a chapter which he called Baab man qaala Laa nikaah illa bi
wali (Chapter: the view of those who say that there is no (valid)
marriage without a wali)’.
With regard to the Sunnah:
1 – It was narrated that Abu Moosa said: The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid)
marriage without a wali.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085;
Ibn Maajah, 1881. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi,
2 – It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who
gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid,
her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If the marriage has been
consummated then she is entitled to the mahr because she allowed the man to
be intimate with her. If she does not have a wali then the ruler is the wali
of one who does not have a wali.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah,
1879. This hadeeth was classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi and as saheeh by Ibn
Hibbaan (9/384) and al-Haakim (2/183)).
So your sister has to repent and pray for forgiveness, and
she has to go back to her father and ask him to forgive her. She should
realize that her marriage is null and void, and so it is not permissible for
her to stay with this man because he is not a legitimate husband for her. A
new contract should be done in the presence of her wali, if he agrees to her
staying with this man, after weighing up the evil of his bad manners versus
the evil of her leaving him; or if he does not approve of her staying with
him, then the marriage contract is automatically annulled, and this man
should be obliged to divorce her so as to avoid any doubts and so that the
matter will be final.
She should agree to the person whom her father chooses for
her, and he has to look for someone person of religious commitment and good
manners who fears Allaah who will take good care of his daughter.
And Allaah knows best.