Praise be to Allaah.
We ask Allaah to accept
your repentance and to forgive you, and to help you to obey Him and worship
Your marriage contract
without the approval of the wife’s guardian is invalid, and you have to
renew it in the presence of the guardian. If he cannot attend then he should
appoint someone to do the marriage contract on his behalf.
It was narrated that Abu
Moosa (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a
wali (guardian).” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1101), Abu Dawood (2085) and Ibn
Majaah (1881); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn
The majority of scholars
said that a marriage done without a guardian is invalid, and they ruled that
a ta’zeer punishment should be carried out on the one who does that,
following the example of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with
him). This is the view of al-Shaafa’i. A number of them also suggested that
the hadd punishment of stoning should be carried out in such cases and
others. End quote.
He also said:
The Qur’aan indicates this
in more than one place, as does the Sunnah in more that one place, and it
was the habit of the Sahaabah. Women can only be given in marriage by men,
and it is not known that any woman gave herself in marriage. This is what
distinguishes between marriage and illicit relationships. Hence ‘Aa’ishah
said: No woman should give herself in marriage, for the prostitute is the
one who gives herself in marriage. End quote.
The author of ‘Awn
al-Ma’bood (6/101) said:
In fact marriage without a
guardian is invalid, as is indicated by the hadeeth. End quote.
What you must do now, if
you want to set things straight and make your marriage in accordance with
sharee’ah, is to do the marriage contract again, in the presence of the
wife’s guardian and with his approval.
It should be noted that you
must hasten to set this matter straight, because your staying together now
is haraam, because the marriage contract that was done between you before
was not valid.
In order to expedite
matters, you can contact her father by phone and he can say to you: “I give
my daughter So and so to you in marriage” and you can say, “I accept,” and
that should be done in the presence of two witnesses who know the father’s
voice and can hear him.
With regard to the
children, they should be attributed to you because you did the marriage
contract without a guardian thinking that it was valid.
And Allaah knows best.